Caring for a Loved One with Dementia: Advice from the Heart

When someone we love is diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer’s, it can feel like the ground has shifted beneath us. Suddenly, routines, roles, and relationships begin to change. Caring for someone experiencing cognitive decline requires a special kind of love—one rooted in patience, understanding, and grace. In today’s Dear Sister Project letter, we’re sharing advice and reflections from our own journey with dementia in hopes that it brings comfort and guidance to anyone walking a similar path.

Dear Sister Project,

In light of the recent news about Bruce Willis’ FTD diagnosis, I wanted to ask for your advice on caring for and interacting with someone living with dementia or any kind of cognitive decline. Sadly, my father-in-law was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and I’d like to know the best ways we can support and care for him. As you can imagine, this diagnosis has shaken our family to the core, and my husband is absolutely devastated.

Thank you so much for your guidance and for sharing your journey with your mom.

– Meghan, Westmont, IL

Dear Meghan,

I am so deeply sorry to hear about your father-in-law’s diagnosis. And I can’t thank you enough for asking this important question. People living with cognitive impairments need specific care, patience, and compassion. As challenging and emotional as dementia or Alzheimer’s can be, gathering the right tools to be an active and loving caregiver will help you navigate this journey with grace—and plenty of love.

Here are some of my best tips from my own experience caring for my mom.

1. Remember the Three C’s: Comfortable, Clean, Cared For—and Safe

Caring for a loved one with dementia is a lot like caring for an infant or toddler. They crave comfort, warmth, nourishment, and love—and often rely on caregivers to provide those things. Make sure they’re cozy, clean, and well-fed. And always prioritize safety. Remove anything that could cause harm—including car keys or items that could lead to accidents.

2. Play Music for Them

Music is incredibly powerful and often remains one of the last ways a person with dementia can connect with their memories and emotions. Create a Spotify playlist filled with their favorite songs—music that reminds them of happy times or special people. You’ll be amazed at how it can soothe their spirit and spark something from within.

3. Avoid Over-Correcting

Try not to correct them over and over again—it often causes frustration for both of you. They live in a reality of their own, and it’s best to meet them there with patience and maybe even a little humor. Believe it or not, there will still be moments of laughter and joy if you let them unfold naturally.

4. Meet Them Where They Are

Try to include your loved one as much as possible while keeping in mind where they are in their journey. I’ll never forget when my therapist explained that one Halloween, my mom might be able to carve a pumpkin—but the next year, she might prefer decorating one with markers instead. That perspective helped me find ways to include her in traditions and daily tasks safely. Simple activities like folding towels or setting the table can provide a sense of purpose and dignity.

5. Make Some Art

One of my most treasured keepsakes is a piece of art my mom, June, made early in her journey. We stocked up on coloring books, markers, and canvases, and she created a beautiful piece that now sits framed on my windowsill. It’s a daily reminder of her creativity and spirit. Art offers a gentle way to connect and create something meaningful together.

6. Don’t Forget About Yourself

Your mental health and well-being matter too. Caregiving is beautiful—but it’s also exhausting. Take time for yourself, whatever that looks like for you and your husband. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. I highly recommend seeing a therapist to help process the complex emotions that come with this experience: the grief, the love, and everything in between. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so care for yourself first.

I hope this helps you, Meghan—and anyone else navigating a similar journey.
Caring for a loved one with dementia is one of the most selfless acts of love there is. It takes courage, tenderness, and patience. Remember, you’ve got this.

You all stay cozy now, ya hear?

– Lauren

This article was originally written for Hillgrove Ave Magazine.

Thanks for reading our blog! For some wheezy laughs, sisterly banter, and cozy

 rebellion, tune in to Cozy Conversations with The Sister Project®.

Follow along on Instagram @thesisterproj