How I Stopped Rushing Through Life—and Taught My Kids to Do the Same

I didn’t realize I was running on empty until I couldn’t keep going — until I saw my mom’s life mirrored in my own.

You don’t fully understand the impact you have on your children until you reflect on the impact your parents had on you. I had a wonderful childhood. I felt loved and safe. But my mom burned the candle at both ends for the sake of her family — until her flame finally flickered out.

I remember how tirelessly she worked to make holidays and family gatherings magical. She would push herself to the brink, creating beauty and warmth for everyone else, only to collapse on the couch before the night was even over.

Movies were our thing. She’d often say, “Let’s go watch a movie,” which I now realize was her way of saying, “I’m exhausted, but I still want to be close to you.” She’d curl up beside me, and before long, her eyes would close — asleep before the opening credits were over.

I inherited my mom’s dark hair and olive complexion, her knack for whipping up something out of nothing in the kitchen, and — unfortunately — her tendency to power through, even on the brink of exhaustion. The ultimate family heirloom: burnout, wrapped in a pretty package.

In 2018, I made a promise to myself: I wasn’t going to live in the shadow of the burnout I was raised in any longer. I committed to breaking the cycle — not just for me, but for Will and Mia. These days, I spend my time encouraging others to learn from my mistakes and prioritize themselves every single day. Because their health and well-being depend on it. And because their kids are watching.

The statistics are staggering — 60% of American mothers report experiencing burnout at some point in their lives. Chronic stress wreaks havoc on our bodies and minds, leading to everything from heart problems and high blood pressure to depression. I’ve been there. I’ve felt that.

The biggest misconception? That self-care is a luxury.

It’s not.

Self-care is a necessity. My sister, Lauren, taught me that.
If we don’t prioritize ourselves, we’ll keep perpetuating this vicious cycle — and our kids will follow suit.

We don’t want that, do we?

As my mom used to say, “I’ve got a newsflash for you.” We’re all busy — and our kids are too. Today’s kids are constantly on the go, and if they’re rushing, we’re rushing right alongside them. But it’s not enough to take care of ourselves — we have to teach them how to take care of themselves.

We have a unique opportunity as mothers and role models to teach our children how to slow down, care less, and even do nothing — yes, nothing. Our kids are always watching us. They’re learning how to manage stress, set boundaries, and value their well-being by the example we set.

This is the greatest gift we can give to the next generation: the knowledge that they don’t have to fall into the same trap we did — the endless rushing, the never-ending to-do lists, the pressure to do more and be more. We can show them a different way.

We can show them that slowing down isn’t a luxury — it’s essential.
That self-care isn’t selfish — it’s sustaining.
That rest isn’t wasted time — it’s an act of love.

When we pause to breathe, to rest, to be present, we give them permission to do the same. We show them that their value isn’t measured by productivity but by presence. They don’t need to keep running to be worthy. They don’t need to keep producing to be enough.

As we step into a new year — or a new season, or simply a new day — let’s model this for our children: the value of being present. Let’s teach them the joy of quiet moments, the freedom to disconnect, and the beauty of rest.

Here are a few ways to begin:

Start small. Begin each day with ten minutes just for you. Savor your first cup of coffee, jot a few thoughts in your journal, or breathe our favorite mantra: slow down, care less, do nothing.

Flip the script. Instead of focusing on what didn’t get done, celebrate what did. Think of rest as an investment in your family’s well-being, not wasted time.

Make downtime a shared experience. Around here, we call that hygge. Channel your inner Little House on the Prairie with family reading or coloring nights — or my personal favorite, tech-free dinners.

The more you flex this muscle, the stronger it becomes. And like my mom always said, “Monkey see, monkey do.”

Our children won’t care for themselves the way we cared for them.
They’ll care for themselves the way we cared for ourselves.

Let’s break the cycle of busy. Let’s raise kids who know that slowing down, resting, and taking care of themselves isn’t indulgent — it’s essential. Let’s teach them how to thrive, not just survive.

As always, thank you for your readership.
Stay cozy,
Michelle

This article was originally written for Hillgrove Ave Magazine.

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