The book I’m currently reading, The Once and Future Sex: The Role of Women in Medieval Society, has me thinking about the role of women in the modern world.
And it has me wondering - has much really changed?
I mean, of course we’ve come a long way (sort of), but daily headlines and the constant reminder of how we should look and age have me scratching my head.
Anyone else over shapewear? A soft belly on a woman was desired during the Middle Ages, so that has definitely changed. But now here we are, squeezing our bodies into nylon sausage casing just to fit a societal expectation. Guilty as charged, but also over it.
I’m grateful for women like Pamela Anderson, rebelling against society's expectations of how her face should look. It’s clear she’s caring less, going makeup-free, and I’m here for it.
My sister, Michelle, is rebelling as well by letting her hair go au naturel. Salt n’ pepper here she comes. It’s a bold move in a world where we’re encouraged to stay youthful until we die.
These are leaders in the revolution of caring less.
But then there are the headlines. The constant barrage against women’s rights and autonomy has me feeling more like I’m living in the Middle Ages than in the modern year of 2025.
Let’s be honest. When was the last time you saw a headline that caused men to take to the streets demanding their body autonomy? Or consider procreating in hopes of getting a monetary reward from the government?
What? Did I just write that? I did.
Newsflash: women do not want to be told what to do.
Since forever, we’ve been told what to do, how to dress or how not to dress if we don’t want unsolicited attention or harassment (or worse). We’ve been told how many partners are too many, what to do with our bodies (our bodies!), and how to stay and look young forever. Just to name a few.
Want to know a little secret? Women just want to be.
Whether we want to admit it or not, the pressures placed on us by society are exhausting. Add in the pressures from home and work, and oh my god - give us all a dirty martini, spa day, and therapy session, stat.
Ladies, can you imagine the freedom we would - and could - feel if society, those in office, and big-name influencers just left us the hell alone?
I dream of a day when women don’t have to try harder, compare, hope for enough votes, or lose sleep over future generations.
So it has me thinking even more about this revolution.
Here are a few things to remember as we push back against what society keeps trying to push on us:
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Our looks, age, or weight don’t define our worth, but feeling good in your own skin? That’s the real power move.
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Having children doesn’t make us any better than women who choose not to. (Talk about freedom, lol.)
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Seasoned women have so much wisdom, lived experience, and stories to share. They are the crones of the western suburbs.
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Wrinkles are road maps of deep knowing and intuition.
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Your shoes, outfit, purse, home, and vacation don’t need to be Instagram-worthy or expensive to bring you joy. Care less and enjoy the life you’re living.
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That old saying is true - it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Kindness and empathy never age.
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Whether it’s mental health or the hormonal rollercoaster of perimenopause, get the help you need. You matter and you don’t have to go through it alone.
And lastly - slowing down, caring less, and doing nothing is self-care.
This revolution doesn’t have to be loud.
It can be slow and steady. Calm and wise. Mindful and badass.
Trust me, people will hear it.
So yeah, this one goes out to the women. Yeah, you.
This Friday, I will raise my martini to you and wish you a slow, intentional summer of YOU and the power to care less.
Stay cozy,
Lauren Massarella
This article was originally written for Hillgrove Avenue Magazine, June 2025 Issue.
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Extra Cozies!
Extra Cozies!