Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is reserved for couples — young love, old love, newly dating love. It’s all about romance. Sometimes it’s hot and steamy... and sometimes, well, not so much.
But let’s be honest: Valentine’s Day can also be one big reminder of who isn’t coupled up. It can make the single, widowed, newly broken up, or divorced feel like crap on a national holiday. Don’t we already have enough days that do that?
Now, don’t get me wrong — I’m all for love letters, a good box of chocolates, candlelit dinners, and quality time with your partner. In fact, I say use the day (or sometime around it) to plan something special together. Why not?
But even better? Make “Valentine’s Day” a regular thing — once a month, or heck, even daily. Hear me out. I know that sounds like a lot, but the truth is, it’s the little things that nurture a relationship. Relationship experts say that a simple “thank you,” a daily hug, or a goodbye kiss can help create a stronger, more connected partnership.
Simple actions can make big impressions. And if bigger actions are needed, there’s no time like the present to book that couple’s counselor. Love is work — beautiful, worthwhile work.
Now, let’s shift gears for a second. Let’s talk about you.
We are our most important relationship. We pour so much of ourselves into everyone else — our kids, our partners, our parents, our sick loved ones, coworkers, even strangers. By the end of the day, we’re lucky to squeeze in five minutes of meditation, a shower, or a glass of wine. (Although, somehow, there’s always time for the wine.)
So here’s my thought: no matter what your relationship status is, take yourself out on a date this Valentine’s Day — or any day. Make it a monthly commitment. There’s something about spending time alone that feels like pressing a giant reset button.
My ideal solo date? Grabbing a good book and sitting at the bar at Forno Rosso in the West Loop, sipping a big, beautiful glass of red wine and eating an entire margherita pizza. Yup — the whole thing. Or catching a movie alone with a bucket of popcorn and a large soda (half cherry Coke, half Diet Coke — the perfect combo). If I really want to spoil myself, I book ninety minutes at AIRE Ancient Baths here in Chicago. Short of a beach vacation, it’s pure, magical relaxation.
You know that saying: “You can’t pour from an empty cup”? It’s true. Whether you’re a caregiver or just a human trying to juggle it all, you can’t fully show up for others if you’re not showing up for yourself.
And who says Valentine’s Day has to be about romantic love anyway? Why not celebrate the love we have for ourselves?
Wow. I’m starting to sound a little like Carrie Bradshaw. I don’t hate that. (Side note: I’m not hating And Just Like That… either. Anyone else?)
So think of one thing you’d love to do for you, with you — and go do it. Take yourself out on a date. You deserve it.
Wishing you, the beautiful human that you are, a very happy You Day — I mean, Valentine’s Day.
Stay cozy,
Lauren Massarella
This article was originally written for Hillgrove Ave Magazine.
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